33. My danger zone
That way of thinking empowers addiction, it fuels it by taking away from my sobriety. Addiction is silent, cunning, and guile. If left unchecked, it will be my undoing. I’ve worked too hard to give up now. Not today, not ever.
Working my Program
is essential to my recovery. I couldn’t have done this on my own. I needed the experience, strength, and hope that comes with the 12 steps. A sponsor grounds me. In rehab, I made ‘addiction friends’ with people who could call me out, and hold me accountable.
All of these checks and balances were put in place through building new habits. My old ways of thinking, my old rationale, my alcoholic mindset didn’t serve me. Letting my ego drive the bus is my danger zone. That I can show up to less meetings. That I could manage things on my own, that I was in control. That way of thinking empowers addiction, it fuels it by taking away from my sobriety. Addiction is silent, cunning, and guile. If left unchecked, it will be my undoing. I’ve worked too hard to give up now. Not today, not ever.
It’s a continuous struggle
there’s not going to be “a one day” where I’ll be able to self-manage my addiction. Meetings & the 12 steps are apart of my life for good. I have a support system in place. I manage my resentments by openly communicating my feelings. Slippery people, places, and things don’t add value. I am stronger today for reaching out for help yesterday.
Gratitude of the day: Today I am thankful for not letting my addiction make decisions for me. I don’t let myself slip quietly like I used to. I know my patterns, and work to make new habits.
Action of the day: Today I will think of new patterns I’ve made now that I’m sober. I will think of new patterns that can help me grow even more.
