06. HALTING Successfully
Answering those questions gives me room to move forward, with a constructive, action based solution (not based entirely on emotion). Knee jerk reactions have their time and place, but now isn’t one of them. Maybe I need to help qualify my emotions. Maybe I need to understand the other person’s circumstances. Maybe they’re not able to rise up to what I believe as capable. Maybe I’ve set unrealistic expectations. Maybe I need to change my ideas, or my thought process around it. Maybe I need to change the relationship.
This topic was recommended to me, today we’re talking about success and how we can sometimes get in the way of our success. There are some things we can do to help mitigate that, so what does that look like? What does that mean?
In a nutshell, we related this to the seven dwarfs, it became a whole other thing. It started out as just an acronym for HALT. As I was talking with my friend, we started adding more and more onto it. What started out as HALT, became it’s own separate hilarious event.
What HALTS you? Stops you in your tracks?
What are some things that can get in your way? We know the definition of halting is to “stop right there!” Halting is definitely a way to experience roadblocks. It can trip us up, it can throw us off. Those are often things we weren’t really expecting. Those can be circumstances, or a situation, it could be something further (consequences).
If I have a limiting belief, that is something that can hold me back. If it is something that’s outside of it, maybe it’s much larger of an issue. If I don’t have enough resources, that can be something that will hold me back. Playing on that thought for a minute, if we find ourselves in a situation where it’s the lack of resources, I would challenge that by saying, “Could it be a lack of resourcefulness.”
Yes we’re in a predicament where we can run out of resources, we can run out of time, we can run out of patience. Maybe we can be more effective with our time, with our patience first.
This is where we’re jumping into today’s topic. If we move into something a little quicker. One of the things I used to help mitigate that is, acronyms to help me remember.
The letter H, would stand for Hunger.
When it comes to food, I do my meal prep. I’ll chop up my onions, garlic, peppers, celery, carrots, potatoes. I’ll save the onions for last since they make me cry. Regardless how many times I cut onions, I know onions will be the last thing I cut up. Then I’ll take the veggies, and package them in medium freezer ziplock bags. I’ll separate them into 8 or so bags, but am I going to cook all 8 right now? No. I’m actually not, but I’ll take the 8 and freeze them. I will use a slow cooker, when I want to cook something.
I’ll grab a bag of veggies, throw it in the slow cooker, add protein. Then set it for 4 hrs, 8 hrs, 10 hrs (whatever I need). Then I’ll have a healthy home cooked meal. I’ll prepare my meals for the week ahead.
Other times I’ll make smaller portions of veggies, separate them into 18 -19 portions. I’ll pack the ziplock bag full of veggies. It’s important for me to separate the veggies from the protein. I’ll take the protein and separate those into medium ziplock bags. I’ll buy family packs of protein, and break them down into smaller and smaller portions.
I’ll have the protein separated and the veggies separated. Those two things combined help me get ahead of the meals for the week. I’m not doing meal prep for 40 meals in advance. But what I am doing is I’m getting the next week ready. I’m not planning the next month out, that would be too overwhelming for me. If I planned a month out, I wouldn’t even know where to start. But when I plan out the next week, I’ll portion meals into smaller sizes so that it’s not as overwhelming.
By taking the steps today, it’s less overwhelming later.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop ever being overwhelmed. It’s more of a, “Here’s what I’m doing to help mitigate that, by taking these steps sooner.”
I’ll separate my pork chops, chicken, stewed beef. Then I put that ziplock bag inside another ziplock bag. Then I’ll label them with today’s date. Now I know I’ve got that food thing taken care of. When I combine the protein, veggies, in the slow cooker. Each slow cooker meal has 4 – 6 meals, I won’t eat all of that food right away either. I’ll portion the fully cooked meal into tall yogurt containers. I’ll keep two containers (food I’ll eat today), and freeze the remaining four containers. This helps me have 4 meals ready to go.
I’ll do all this on my first day off. Do all my meal prep for the week ahead. The meal prep I do this week, will be for next week because I already have meals prepared for this week. This way I am always a week ahead. This gives me a sense of ease, I won’t have to worry what I’m going to eat that day, or that week. Plus it’s a healthy meal.
Some of my friends will make spaghetti and eat it for 18 days (or something ridiculous). They’ll have that one meal, until they run out of it. That’s okay too, but to avoid that meal crunch, I’ll do all my meal planning in advance. I’ll make 4 -6 meals of one type (beef stew), I won’t stop there. I’ll fire up the slow cooker again and make chicken, then pork chops. I’ll make 6 meals for chicken, 6 meals for pork chops, etc.
I’ll spice it up all the time, I won’t get bored of eating the same thing continually. I’ll cycle through my inventory. This helps me not worry about making too much, or too little.
I know myself. If I am left making a decision of what to eat, and I don’t have anything prepared, chances are greater than zero I’ll probably order pizza.
I’m not saying don’t order take out, I’m saying don’t set yourself up for failure, by not setting yourself up for success first. With a little bit of effort now, it saves me time (and money later).
Enough cooking talk.
Benefits of identifying state awareness.
Identifying what we’re feeling as an emotional trigger. It’s important to know that what we’re feeling right now isn’t the actual circumstance, it’s the response we’re attaching to that circumstance. Am I making a decision based on my emotion, or am I making a decision based on the situation my emotion is attached to? Separating those two can help mitigate that knee jerk reaction.
Our emotions can cause a reactions, which are challenging even at the best of times. A normal person (a Normie), when in an emotional situation it can be very challenging. When we’re in an imbalanced emotional state, those reactions can be wildly different. By not being in a perfect balance emotional state, our decision making process with those same circumstances, – our best decisions are not always made when we ourselves are not balanced.
The challenging part is, “How do we get to that balanced state?”
This is where the acronym HALT comes in. Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. I mitigate the hunger component, by doing meal prep! Once we sense negative emotions. Those emotions are a signal that something needs to change. If I feel a signal, if I feel a negative emotion, and I’m in a situation what are somethings I can do to help change?
Either it’s my perception I need to change, or it’s my environment, or my circumstances.
Asking what are the circumstances I’m in causing these emotions? Relating to my meal prep example, if I’m hungry, I can make poor or rash decisions. What are the circumstances that lead up to that outcome? If I squandered my time, maybe a little bit of meal prep can help mitigate that.
I can’t simply say, “Just believe yourself to not be hungry.” That won’t work, you’ll need food to help change that. So what are some ways I can help get food? If I believe the world is against me, and I notice that I haven’t eaten, maybe it’s not the world that’s against me. Maybe it’s my inability to plan in advance, that put me in a situation where the circumstances (or outcome) is that I feel hungry.
What can I do to help mitigate that feeling? That’s where meal prepping came in for me.
After I identify what’s causing this reaction in me. Once I’ve labelled what part of me is feeling this way, I’m free to move forward. I recognize the limit of that emotion.
Safety moment, it’s okay for me to not know all the answers. It’s okay to identify an emotion, and not know what to do. But it’s not okay to let that emotion start making decisions for me. It’s not okay to let it run rampant in my life. What I want to do is move forward in an empowering way, in a positive light, in a constructive way. What are some ways I can help appreciate that in a healthy, supportive, conducive way?
I won’t be able to do that if I am making knee jerk, quick reactions to everything. If I was, I’m living my life in reaction mode, which is no real way to live life. That’s the white knuckle-living we talked about in another episode. If I am living in reaction, it’s not really living, I’m waiting for the next big thing to happen.
Let’s take control of our lives.
I want to move forward in a way that is successful, the acronym HALT helps me do this daily.
Halting the seven dwarfs of success.
H- Hungry
If I’m making rash decisions, and I happen to be hungry, maybe I’m not actually hungry. What if this emotion being driven is HANGRY? Have you ever seen that commercial with Danny Devito, where he’s upset and somebody gives him a snickers, then he turns back into a ballerina. That’s the idea. If I feel a negative emotion, and I notice I haven’t eaten that day, I’m not saying go out and buy a snickers, but I am saying: Maybe the situation I put myself in, is because I didn’t plan in advance. Because I didn’t organize my meals, because I didn’t orchestrate enough to lodge a meal for that day. I’m not advocating for meal prepping, but I am advocating for a little bit of structure at the beginning of the week can help set the rest of your week up for success. That can come from avoiding being Hangry, by not being hungry. We’re all going to be hungry eventually, but we can plan a head. I could go buy a pizza, and the pizza will last me a day or two? But for that same value, I could buy a week’s worth of meal prep food. Now the food is lasting much longer, it’s much heartier, plus it’s more fulfilling. It’s the same $30 – $40, one decision lasts me a whole week, another decision lasts me a couple of days. Am I making decisions when I’m hungry, I want food right now. The 20 minute convenience of ordering pizza, compared to the one week certainty of knowing. What part of me is making the decision? Sure I can order pizza right now, but it’s only a short term solution to a long term problem. For someone who wants a successful life, an outstanding life, it comes in the form of looking beyond my circumstances. Digging deeper past my emotions, asking what part of me is feeling this way. Answering this allows me to move forward in a much more constructive way. No good has ever come from being Hangry!
A – Angry – What can I do to reduce the feeling of anger?
It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to be frustrated, it’s okay to have feelings of resentment. We’ve talked about resentment and stress in another episode. I need to stress it’s not bad to have these feelings. We’ve talked about stressful situations, we dug deeper into triggers, we talked about hitting rock bottom. I can’t say, “No good has come from hitting rock bottom.” This show is the outcome of hitting rock bottom. I share my story wholeheartedly. I don’t want to convince anyone not to do something, I want this show to be a companion to those who already made the choice to live an outstanding life. It’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to let that anger emotion make decisions for you. Back at the treatment centre, one of the councilors shared with me, he never has a bad day. That concept really floored me, “What do you mean you don’t have bad days? Everybody has a bad day.”
He challenged my thinking by saying, “No, Jason. I can have a bad minute, I can have a bad hour. But I won’t let that have me a bad day.”
When he said that I was blown away. “I don’t believe you can’t have a bad day.”
“I’ve seen people have a bad day,” he said, “I’ve seen people have a bad month, even a bad year, or a bad decade.”
I was stuck on the idea on what a bad decade would even look like. It’s a good thing I don’t have bad decades, or bad years, but do I allow myself to have a bad month? or a bad day? He went on to say he let’s himself feel the emotion, he’ll identify it, and allow himself to move forward from it. He’ll give the emotion control for a minute. He’ll let it control him for maybe even an hour, but not beyond that. He has trained himself to just let go.
L – Lonely – Do I have relationships built on a solid foundation?
If I’m feeling lonely, it calls into question, “What part of me if feeling lonely?”
Do I feel lonely while having established relationships built on a solid foundation? Am I surrounding myself with a supportive community? If I am surrounding myself with a community of people that are not built on a solid foundation, is that really a community? At what point am I being drained, when a relationship is sucking me down, more than its adding value… Are those signs? Are those signals that I should be listening to. If I am choosing to be in a relationship with a girlfriend that is doing nothing but taking, taking, taking. Is that the kind of relationship that I want? Is that how I define a successful relationship? If I am in a relationship with that same girlfriend, where all I am doing is taking, taking, taking. Is that how I qualify a relationship, me just sucking that from them?
Tony Robbins says, “Make a list of the qualities that you want in a relationship for a partner. Not just things like, I want them to have nice jeans, a big house, five cars, and in charge. Those are not the qualities I mean. Write down the qualities I’m looking for in a significant other, it sounds hard, because it is hard. Once I start making the list, it starts rolling.”
I want someone who’s empathetic, genuine, authentic, caring. I want someone who’s able to keep up. Who wants to travel as much as I do. I want my girlfriend to be someone that’s able to -, I made a whole video about this. 21 questions for my significant other, it’s called Dear Future wife. After making the first list, I can start on the second list. What are the qualities that I would need to have, that I would need to show up with, in order to attract this kind of a caliber of a person? If the first list is what I want, the second list is what I need to have first in order for me to qualify for my ideal relationship.
If the emotion I’m feeling right now has a loneliness component, is that because I’m surrounding myself with a community of people that are not adding value? Is it because I’m choosing to surround myself with a relationship that is not keeping up to the same standards? Am I going to be angry that a relationship ended, when it was not built on a solid foundation? This can be a whole other topic really, but the ideas are still the same. If I choose to surround myself with a community of people who are supportive and engaging, than I’m going to develop a lasting connection, which reduces chances of feeling lonely.
Or I can choose to surround myself with a different community, I’m probably going to get a different result. But if I’m not feeling happy, or validated, then maybe it’s time to make a different decision, and having the strength and courage to move on. Doing that takes a much larger person, especially if you’ve been in that relationship and it’s time to end it. It’s very challenging if you need to make the call, “Hey fast forward 5, 10, 20 years, I don’t think this is going to work out. But you need to make that call. You need to be brave enough to make that decision. Sometimes you’re on the other end of that decision, that’s very challenging too. It takes time, strength, and courage to move up, move on, and move through. When it comes to a relationship, how do you qualify that? If I’m not adding up to that standard, is that my girlfriend’s fault? If they’re not holding up to the same standard I’m holding, then maybe I need to revisit that, or maybe it’s time to move through, and move on.
T- Tired – Sleepy
How can I set myself up for success in the morning? If I wake up and I don’t feel recharged, if I’m not feeling rejuvenated, if I’m not ready to tackle the day, then maybe I need to look at what habits am I getting myself into? I know that if I go to the gym, and workout, I’ll be tired at the end of the day. I can find myself getting stuck in a rut, by not managing my time to go to the gym.
The stigma I have was getting in the way of me going to the gym. What I decided to do was break apart my workouts, into smaller mini workouts. One with weights, and one with cardio. The endurance of cardio tires me out, and the weights will burn energy. With smaller workouts it’s easier to schedule them in, knowing I’m not getting a full workout in both sessions, helps me get further ahead. I don’t have to worry about dedicating one full hour to working out, instead I have the certainty of knowing two half hour workouts will get done. This ensures I’m tired at the end of the day, then I wake up energized to start my day, I get up earlier. I workout earlier. I’m going to bed earlier. These little tiny things definitely add up. Before I wasn’t using the steam room at the gym, now it’s a regular part of my gym experience. It’s super relaxing, the steam room helps me meditate. The benefits start stacking ontop of eachother. The more I’m planning in advance, the organized I become, it sounds like structure, but really it’s a peace of mind.
I – Intuitive – What else can this mean?
Maybe I need to change my perception or expectations. If I’m in a situation where I am feeling that resentment. I’m feeling that anger, I’m feeling that challenge, that emotion. I challenge myself to think outside the box. To question what else could this mean? Maybe I need to change my perception of the circumstances, maybe I need to change my expectations. Circling back to the relationship example, if the relationship isn’t going as smooth or as ideas as anticipated. Maybe the expectation I have in my mind, hasn’t been shared with my girlfriend. Or maybe they’re not even aware of what I believe a relationship is, maybe we’re together and it’s just convenient.
Just because I’m feeling angry, which is an emotion (a signal telling me something needs to change). This is were intuitiveness comes in. Yes I’m feeling angry. Yes I’m feeling an emotion. But what else can this mean? Does this mean I need to change my perception? Does this mean I need to change my expectation? Does this mean I need to change my circumstances? Maybe I need to change how I’m communicating.
Answering those questions gives me room to move forward, with a constructive, action based solution (not based entirely on emotion). Knee jerk reactions have their time and place, but now isn’t one of them. Maybe I need to help qualify my emotions. Maybe I need to understand the other person’s circumstances. Maybe they’re not able to rise up to what I believe as capable. Maybe I’ve set unrealistic expectations. Maybe I need to change my ideas, or my thought process around it. Maybe I need to change the relationship.
It’s really about asking questions larger than the situation.
N – No road blocks.
No Excuses, only results. No pity parties.
I can’t say, “I can’t go to the gym, because I don’t have a car. I can’t do a live show, because who’s going to watch it. I can’t go get my learner’s license, because I don’t own a car. I can’t go buy a home, because the bank won’t loan an addict money. If I’m making all these excuses before I even begin, it’s deflating me before I even start.
Someone who’s willing to have an outstanding life, isn’t going to be able to do these things if all we’re doing is having limiting beliefs. I took this course with Michael Hyatt, Best Year Ever. In the course he replaces limiting beliefs with liberating truths, that idea blew my mind. If I can take these handful of ideas that are limiting me, and set them free, turning them into a liberating truth. Then I’m free to create a new world, with new expectations. But it’s going to take a lot of work as well, it’s not an overnight process. It’s going to take the better part of a year, to course correct a thought process, to get into a groove.
G – Gratitude
I can’t be grateful and fearful at the same time. I can’t hold both those emotions at the same value, it’s not possible. I ensure I start my day off with gratitude, by having a gratitude list. Writing a gratitude journal, where I add things all the time. By having a ritual of practice, it gives me the ability to focus on those things first. Living a life of gratitude first allows me to not have as much space to focus on the things that creep in. Limiting beliefs are insecurities.
This list, individually are things that if left unchecked, can break down the whole cycle. They have the chance to offset my balance, no one wants to live that way. No one wants to have that imbalance make decisions for us, running around making a muck. I spend 90% of my day looking after this list of acronyms. If I have a little bit of my day left over, then that day is a win. Then I can put that extra time towards something I’m excited about, I can make a show about recovery, overcoming addiction, and mindfulness.
We’ve talked about how to live a life that’s gratitude first. It’s not something that some day I’m going to be doing. It’s something everyday I’m doing.
Thank you everyone, Take Care.
Jason
